Some people have all the luck. They have mystical encounters in their sleep, they have sexual experiences in their shower. Great composers write music through them; they can channel art with their feet. They go to a psychic, their lives gets straightened out.

I went to India to see a guru. He wasn’t home.

I went to Haight-Ashbury in ‘69. A year after the LOVE scene became the sleaze scene.

I made it to the Pyramids in Cairo on a full moon. The Grateful Dead were playing a concert.

I don’t want to experience the Sphinx at a Dead concert, on a folding chair in a roped off area. I want to enrich my life. So I hang out on the outskirts, with the Egyptians and the Westerners who can’t afford like 25c for a seat.

I smile at a friendly teenager and the next thing I know this Arab salesman is on me:

"You like boy? You pay $20 dollar for boy?".

"No, no thanks".

"You no like boy? I beat him".

"No, don’t beat him. I’m sure he’s a nice boy".

"You think 10 dollar too much?"

"No, it’s a ... "

"OK, Good: we have deal?" ...

How do I get misunderstood? I’ve graduated from numerous communication seminars. At considerable expense.

So I get to the King’s Chamber inside the Great Pyramid and -- it’s empty. And there’s no electricity, which makes it feel emptier. Not an easy thing to do to a space that’s been empty for 3000 years.

The only thing worth mentioning is this tiny hole that goes all the way through to the outside, pointing directly to the north star ... I look: it’s black. "No stah two nigh", says the Arab guide.

Why does the other person always get to see the UFO? When does my Animal Spirit give me a hoot or a bark?

In this incarnation, I’d be satisfied to bend one spoon with my psychic powers.

I’d love to have a book fly off the wall, an eerie warning from beyond. I’d read that book. I need to read more anyway.

I’d like to leave my body -- and I’m quite sure my body would be happy with the arrangement.

But no. I don’t astrally project. I don’t channel. I barely hear human voices.

I have to stop trusting that feeling of Confidence, the feeling I have when I predict the Buffalo Bills are going to win the Super Bowl.

I have to stop believing I can identify my soul mate from behind.

I need to tap into that eternal, timeless, sort of Luke Skywalker type energy.