Now we all want to live peacefully. We build a pier 500 yards over the ocean - For the kids to play on, and the minorities to fish from. And she knocks it down again and again. When will she learn?
We pay our mortgage, we're living our life … and every twenty years some river comes by and makes the basement an aquarium. And what's with the cold winters?
Volcanoes are OK. The occasional tropical island is inconvenienced and buried, but in the end, there's more beachfront. We can even agree to tornadoes, to keep those trailer park people from getting cocky. There are points we can bend on.
But no more floods in Malibu. We need the Coast Highway, this is non-negotiable. No more lightning starting forest fires. We'll start our own fires, thank you.
No more earthquakes during major sporting events. And nothing that skrews with our crops. This 5% a year more desert in the world has to stop. We gotta eat well, understand? That includes sushi.
Remember you're old. Like what? 500 million? In fifty years we're armed Pakistan sufficiently to ruin you.
One more "natural" disaster and we take action. Depleting the ozone?! You ain't seen nothin'.
We have a thousand patents on toxins you could never create. We've got fishing nets that can comb the life out of square miles of the sea. We could make every small town look like Mexico City in two generations.
Remember the Dutch? People built a country out of wood and dams, and they didn't have any trees! We could sic them on you.
Or picture a billion Chinese hooked on cutesy packaging.
And you know who's to blame for all this? You. You got so much space in the universe, … and how much is habitable? (Counting everywhere -- Uruguay, Paraguay, all of New Jersey …)
Then you salted almost all the water!
You left a big hole in Arizona. You gave all the oil to the Middle East, do you think that was wise? And we're running out of coal and natural gas.
The question is -- what are you bringing to the party?
So shape up. No more rough stuff, understand? Times have changed: we're in the driver's seat now.